Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine Day in India

Valentine's Day celebration is comparatively a recent phenomenon in India but has understandably caught the fancy of youth. People celebrate the Valentine's Day by exchanging cards and gifts, letters etc.

Three humorous love letters presumably written by a Mathematician, HR Executive and an Accountant to their Valentine are reproduced here on this occassion. The source of these letters is Internet.

Love letter from a Mathematician

Dear Sweetheart

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.

Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like an unsolved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Yours ever loving,
Mathematics Prasad
De-Morgan's Law,
7th Cross. Binomial Avenue,
India of Matrices - (a+b) ^2

Love letter from an HR executive

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

H R Sharma

Love letter from an accountant


In the Journal of my heart,
I have written a Journal Entry,
Debiting my love & crediting my affection,
now partner, you write the Narration.

Your beauty is the Capital of our business,
And your eyes are Stock In Trade,
Now let us enter into a Transaction,
Without providing Depreciation.

Your first love I have already indicated,
On the Ledger Folio column,
Any way, our relations are based on,
Double Entry System.

Our love is Real & Tangible,
Which can be realized,
Interest on the same,
Can be capitalized.

Partner, you are like a Contra Entry,
You are on my Debit Side & Credit Side,
Both at the same time,
Can it be posted into Ledger, that now you decide.

And so my partner now let us Rectify,
All our errors & total the Trial Balance,
Of our affairs & emotions,
Without maintaining any Suspense Account.

And any difference in the Trial Balance,
In the Balance Sheet of our life,
Our children will be Assets & Liabilities,
If they are boys, shall we call them Sundry Debtors?
If they are girls, shall we call them Sundry Creditors?

But if we have a boy & a girl,
Our Balance Sheet will Tally automatically,
And the Auditor will certify like this,

In the Journal of my heart,

Yours lovingly
Account Kumar

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